Sex workers and tattoos go together like natural redheads and SPF 150. They're inseparable yet there's quite a bit of discourse behind (and in front of) the scenes regarding whether or not tattoos are conducive to obtaining and retaining clients as a SW.
"I think tattoos are horrible. It's like living in a Pucci dress fulltime" -Karl Lagerfeld
"High end" providers are now popping up with a decent amount of tattoos and making sure they're the focal point featured in marketing images. I'm thinking of a few ladies in particular. When I saw them sporting an increasing number of tattoos I thought, well, that's different.
Back in my day, the only SW's who were fairly visibly tatted marketed as "alt girls" and had reasonable rates. SW's are about our business and generally don't alter our appearances or branding unless it's a) authentic to who we are and/or b) a money printing move.
ABC: Always Be Closing. This is a business so I've been ruminating on what has prompted the Chosen Ones to adorn themselves with ink. Similarly, many utterly inked, strictly "alternative" providers who advertise as kinky, total weirdos are able to charge super high rates, a dramatic market shift I've noticed becoming increasingly popular in the last 5-10 years. So extremely visible tattoos have become a marketing tool as opposed to a more rare occurrence.
Strange things are afoot at the SW Circle K, and we're about to get to the bottom of it. Why are more and more SW's covering themselves in tattoos? Aside from the obvious: Tattoos are generally more accepted today by mainstream society.
In a saturated market, separating oneself, letting our freak flags fly, can be a huge benefit as opposed to a hindrance.
“Figure out who you are; then do it on purpose.” — Kim Garst
OMG, Rose, I Don't Change Who I Am for My Clients!
An odd conversation I had with another SW online spurred me to consider the ways in which providers utilize body art. I was doing this annoying thing I'm trying to stop doing: Preaching into the void about the mistakes I've made in my life in the hopes that baby providers will heed my warnings (They won't. I stopped wasting my time trying to help those who aren't ready to hear me. Those who are ready, can read my blogs.)
I shared my extremely expensive and painful experience getting horribly ugly, prehistoric tattoos removed via laser treatment and thought I was doing a good job of not telling anyone what to do. I was talking about how much I regretted getting tattoos as a youngin and how all humans evolve.
"I promise you that the time will come, if you have tattoos, that you will regret your actions. They cannot be washed off. They are permanent. Only by an expensive and painful process can they be removed. If you are tattooed, then probably for the remainder of your life you will carry it with you." -Gordon B. Hinckley
All humans (who aren't malignant personality types) go through a series of deaths/rebirths and totally change who we are. Those humans who lack the ability to admit their mistakes, their flaws, and can't reflect honestly on themselves are doomed to remain stagnant, repeating the same old mistakes. I was very stubborn and slow to evolve, so I get it.
Most people do have the ability to change for the better when we heal and learn how to love ourselves. A part of us must die, we must experience true pain, loss, agony in order to be reborn into our highest self.
This part of us that dies brings forth a new human. The person I was as a young adult isn't who I am now so I looked at my old tattoos and thought, WTF were you thinking?
I told another SW that I hated my "shitty, old, faded" tattoos and they replied by saying that they don't "change who they are" for their clients. And they love their "shitty tattoos."
I'm happy that you're happy with shitty tats but many of us aren't.
Shocker: This is a Business.
Do I really need to say it out loud that "changing ourselves for our clients" is something that many SW's do? How many of us get Botox? Plastic surgery? How many of us workout to obtain a figure we know will make us more money?
I taught myself how to weightlift because I wanted to look like a Muscle Mommy and accrue all the physical, mental and (I later learned) spiritual benefits of physical activity. Because, shocker, aesthetics are extremely important to most SW's.
The more... earthy SW's (who market as crunchy granola) may not want to admit that we do this work to make money and most of us adjust ourselves accordingly in some way, but I didn't realize I'd get a negative response after sharing my story about regrettable tattooing.
I did mention that the tattoos made me feel insecure generally and definitely when disrobing with lovers, and said that insecurity possibly led to my making less money. Confidence, self love: This is partially what attracts people to me and anything subtracting from that confidence could hinder my ability to manifest repeat bookings.
I'd let my extremely long hair hide the tattoos, or at least try to, and was always self conscious about the weird designs covering a small portion of my body. I didn't have much ink but a few ugly tats on my back and small ones in other areas. Not enough to really affect me but I was nonetheless uncomfortable.
The other provider wasn't too mean, just passive aggressive, implying that I was weak, or insecure, because I was removing these blurry, blueish old tattoos that didn't represent me anymore. Maybe they're right, maybe I'm more insecure than them because I was removing these shitty tattoos, and she "loved" her "shitty" tattoos. Well, we can't all be crunchy granolas who care naught for aesthetics. I honestly wish I cared less, but that's a discussion for a different day.
I was also removing them because I wanted beautiful new tattoos that represented who I am today, the person I've worked hard and slayed many demons in order to evolve into.
This conversation did get me thinking and I felt called to further explore my thoughts around tattooing and what I've heard from others after 15+ years doing some sort of SW.
(I worked civilian jobs, and still do, stopping and starting SW so no, not 15 consecutive years doing only SW.)
This is not the industry for you if you refuse to mold yourself in certain ways in order to attract certain clients. Actually, it's an industry for everyone, but those who do well financially more often than not choose to do work to "change who they are" externally. Be it exercise, diet, plastic surgery: Aesthetics are a focal point behind the scenes in our industry.
"Where do you workout?" "Who did your boobs?" "Who did your butt?" "What ridiculously overpriced facial care products do you use?" "Have you tried xy&z experimental beauty treatment?" are all common phrases tossed around group chats, Twitter spaces and in person gatherings.
A small minority are just genetically blessed ex-wannabe actor types who were born fitting the unfittable current beauty standard, but those SW's are in the minority and often still change their physical appearance for work. Even wearing makeup is "changing who we are" for our clients.
Ugh, Tattoos Are Sooo Trashy.
Some argue that tattoos give "trashy" and "low class," dissuading potential wealthy clients from booking us. It's many a SW's dream to be whisked away into a trust fund, country club life attending black tie events and eating at only the priciest Michelin star restaurants.
This "knight in shining armor" fantasy is one I've heard many SW's discussing behind the scenes as they, for better or worse, mold themselves into who they think this dream savior wants them to be. And many of us do end up entering into relationships with generous clients. This is a very controversial topic that warrants it's own blog post but it is an exceedingly common occurrence.
As someone who grew up in relative privilege and actually belonged to a country club until my parents decided it was too expensive (Yeah, yeah, I can hear the angry side eye as you're reading this: I grew up with privileges most people don't have and it's my duty to pay those privileges forward), I can attest to the fact that, IMHO, super rich guys who want a FMTY gal (or guy) they can show off, who can fit into their social life, are less likely to begin a sugar relationship with a heavily tattooed provider.
But many of us aren't banking on this fantasy becoming a reality and/or don't want sugar relationships. We were drawn to SW specifically because we can become whomever we wish to become. SW is an art form and a form of healing, when done right, with heart, soul and ethics. The idea of not tattooing our bodies and not showing off our inner badass, beautiful cabrona is antithetical to why we do this work in the first place.
Tattoos are an art form to us.
The wealthy 1% will book heavily tattooed providers for appointments and spoil them. Isn't that what matters? Tattoo are ubiquitous today and have gained a form of mainstream acceptance, attracting clients from all economic backgrounds.
93% of SW's Are Tattooed
I just made that number up.
However, I understand why certain SW's try to dissuade others from getting tattoos because, yes, old money trust funders are possibly more attracted to a "high end" bare skin vibe. But... it's too late. The times they are a changing. Rapidly.
I'd say 90% of us have tattoos. I had a few of mine laser removed recently because they were 80 years old and were so blue/faded that I looked like an elderly person named Bettie at the nursing home with indiscernible blue blobs adorning her body, hustling the older gents for extra morphine.
I've kept a few of my tattoos and my next investment will next be getting them redone so they go from slightly faded to crisp and beautiful. I may go crazy with it and get a full sleeve because I usually am an all or nothing person.
My clients never said anything about my ugly tattoos and barely seemed to notice. But that's possibly because they were... ugly. I still have an ugly one that I'm in the process of removing but my hair hides it. They're too mesmerized by my hair, face, and magical energy to notice.
Tattoos Bring Me Business: The Semiotics of Body Ink
Why do more and more clients apparently seek out only providers who are tattooed? I was doing a kinky duo appointment with a heavily tattooed provider in NYC and her client didn't want to book me because I hid my tattoos with my hair. Once she told him that I did have tats, he booked us.
An East Coast provider informed me that most of her bookings are sensual domme sessions and her clients always mention how sexy her tattoos are. She's super tatted and looks like a badass. Which brings me to my point: There's a certain type of (generally) man who adores tattoos.
As a woman who gets horny for guys and gals who are very covered in ink, allow me to explain what tattoos symbolize to me.
It says, I don't give a gosh darn what you think. I'm not trying to fit in. I'm not seeking approval from the mainstream and would rather blank myself than work a corporate job. I changed my external appearance in order to stand out.
The more recent, Western history of tattoos goes back to sailors, gang members, convicts: "Deviants" who are probably really passionate and good in bed. As more people become disillusioned with mainstream, soulless society and get tattooed, more SW clients will be drawn to this independent, passionate symbolism as it becomes more popular.
Many people are fed up and seeking release. They feel numb, sad, slightly soulless and getting a beautiful piece of artwork on our bodies is an adrenaline rush. It's also empowering, a way to feel in control in an out of control world. We're taking back our bodies, creating something divine in a world that's suffering a sickness of the soul.
Many SW's use tattoos to cover scars, track marks and self harm scars. No one wants to walk around ashamed due to past trauma, so this aspect of tattooing shouldn't be forgotten. Healing and hope are possible.
Additionally, many cultures used tattooing as a form of spiritual initiation or as an offering to the universe. It was sometimes used as a demarcation reserved for the powerful, tribal leaders and warriors. There is something very magickal about bleeding, breaking of skin, the pain creating a new, more powerful being.
A form of blood magick, tattooing invokes the power of our blood ancestors and the strength of iron.
And as a blood/fire/plant witchy woman, I also see my tattoos as a spiritual gift, an offering to my higher powers. My old and new tattoos all have spiritual symbolism, both honoring the divine and invoking the protection of higher powers. I won't be showing them off here and may keep them private, off the internet, only for lovers and good boys to enjoy when they visit me in person.
When I was in my very early 20's, I got my first tattoo, album art from the iconic and utterly unique album, Transmaniacon by RTX because it was the soundtrack to my life and I had a huge crush on Jennifer Herrema. At the time I had delved into the Toronto music scene and was beginning to discover who I really was. I also discovered British Columbia bud.
(If you want to feel the feels, eat an edible, sit outside in nature and listen here to my favorites: Speed to Roam, Is Red, Joint Chief. Note the lyric: "Gas station's built on tribal land and I don't know what to do."
This album was way before it's time yet timeless. BTW Cannabis will open up your perception and you'll hear trippy layers within the songs. Highly, highly recommend.)
Keep in mind, from what I've heard, guys seeking domme and kink are more likely to be down with this strong, "devil may care" attitude symbolized by tattoos. I still believe it's best for us to be our genuine selves, to a certain extent. But if who we really are is a hateful, pathologically lying psychopath well... Maybe hide that if you don't want to be broke.
I keep my inner Patrick Bateman tightly leashed. I swear. I just have to return some video tapes after I partake in my rigorous facial scrub routine. (Next blog idea: Delineating the similarities between the SW world and the world portrayed in American Psycho. Other girls' stunning, gorgeous, expensive SW photos shot by pricey industry photogs being the equivalent to new, expensive business cards jaw clench 😉)
If we are ourselves, we'll attract the clients who we're meant to attract. We're still playing a role and selling a service so I'm not saying it's easy to balance authenticity with being commercially viable. If I don't express myself in some way via my marketing, the story is ultimately meaningless and I'd have to rely only on only my physical beauty to attract suitors.
This works, to a certain extent, but other humans can feel our energy, even through a screen. Read my blog on SW and the occult to learn more. My admirers seek one thing: healing via genuine connection. An energy exchange. If the energy I transmit isn't authentic on some level, it's harder for me to stand out in an extremely saturated market.
If the energy we transmit is mean, mocking, or empty then we're leaving money on the table.
"There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory. And although I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there." American Psycho, 1991
Like all humans, I have trials and tribulations, struggles, pain, sadness: But I generally leave negativity at the door when I see clients and create my marketing materials. So of course I'm not totally authentic but I do believe that now, more than ever, suitors are seeking someone with soul.
Tattoos can be used as both genuine, artistic self expression as an offering of the soul AND a marketing tool.
Is Genuine Self Expression Compatible with Marketability?
Just look at this blog. Anyone who reads it can tell I'm being genuine. While I am being my legitimate self, I'm also holding back, rereading these posts and rewriting them over a period of days in order to not get too real because this isn't an anonymous blog and I'm still selling a fantasy. Can't have potential suitors knowing the truth about how loca I can be... Or can we?
You'd be surprised how many lovers enjoy my... zesty side.
Clients don't want to book insecure, mocking, mean providers who's marketing includes ridicule and shit talk in a pointless attempt to soothe the negative thoughts rumbling about in their brains. This betrays insecurity (because those who love themselves don't feel the need to mock/bully others, hurt people hurt people, etc.) and low intelligence/high insanity (because only an idiot or a crazy person who can't control themselves would think displaying their insecurities and hate is a great marketing strategy).
By zest I mean spirit. Soul.
The Social Experiment
I'm an undercover rebel. I built my marketing strategy specifically to attract generous/(not necessarily) affluent, yet kind, admirers. Most of my clients are attorneys, finance guys, engineers, etc. who work very straight laced jobs and because, for the most part, I've removed my tattoos or they're hidden by my hair, I don't have experience booking clients who love tattoos.
It'll be an interesting social experiment to see how my clientele changes once I get more tattoos. It's who I am: I'm transfixed by ink and will stare you down if you're covered in it. If it will attract more clients who I can genuinely connect with and enjoy... Yay!
Honestly, I don't know if I'll show off my tats when their done. I know they'd bring me more clients but I also want to be discreet.
Bad Tattoos: A SW Epidemic
It wouldn't be a Rose B. Blog No One Reads if I didn't leave you with some uncomfortable truths.
I've seen some horrendous tattoos adorning the legs, arms, and gasp chests of certain providers. Lady, that looks like my nephew picked up a marker and drew a faded squiggle on your calf in 2002. You're also scaring the children.
There IS such a thing as objectively bad, or low quality tattoos. We can still love older, faded, low quality tats because of the memories they evoke. This isn't the place to explain tattooing, but they've made entire TV shows and written books about about what makes a tattoo skillful and high quality. However, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if we feel confident, that'll all that matters.
Gun tattoos and cheesy, faded flowers aren't for me, for they're for someone. I guess.
Anyway, please, leave a comment on my Bluesky letting me know what you thought about this post. Good, bad, indifferent: I love it all.