The Greatest Sex Work Catfish of All Time and How to Avoid Them

Mummy Don't Know Daddy's Getting Hot With the Cattyfish, Doing Something Unholy.

"She was twenty years older in person!" Steve exclaimed, his shiny bald head quivering with rage, eyes wide and mouth agape like he was the victim in some horrible Shakespearean tragedy. I knew the provider he was referring to, a blonde companion in Nashville whose unedited photos my doxxer, the Chicago provider E.L., had sent to our group chat because, well, E.L. wanted to mock the looks of her face-in SW friend whom this catfish Nashville provider had shot a selfie with. The photo of these providers was sent privately to E.L. by her face-in "friend" and she'd be horrified if she knew her friend was doxxing her.

Yes, this SW (who ended up doxxing myself and M., another SW in our chat, after we began warning other SW's about E.L.'s predatory behavior) was doxxing her "friend" to us with a dash of foreshadowing but she inadvertently gave us an unedited look at possibly The Greatest SW Catfish of All Time.

The image (cropped, to only show the face-out catfish because it's evil and wrong to keep photos that other women don't want me or anyone to have except her "friend," E.L.), that I may or may not still have, is literally burned into my retinas because it's so fecking ridiculous. I immediately cropped out the face-in woman's face out of a feeling of it simply being plain wrong that I was sent a photo I could use to ruin another woman's life.

Men (and women, and NB's) love providers who are (gasp) 30+ and with exercise, clean living and a multitude of tweakments (or good genes), we look pretty sexy. Or, maybe women over 30 are hot, tweakments or not?

Then why, pray tell, are we editing our photos to not only resemble cartoons but also shave 15-20 years off? Ageism, the notion gifted to us via sociobiology BS posits that women lose value over 20 because, "Mens need spread seed, mens only wan feck lil gurl." Our modern world is about so much more than sex = procreation. The need for procreative sex doesn't explain why humans do what they do, but that's not the subject of today's post.

Many younger men (meaning 20's to 40's) feel a lacking connection with a mothering, caring figure who's confident and sensual. They don't simply crave power over an easier to manipulate 20 year old, although many clients do book younger providers. There's still a goldmine to be made at any age, something I didn't comprehend until I saw how prosperous I became as I aged and how my clients became sweet, more compassionate, respectful and physically attractive.

Myself and the other ladies in our chat were dumbfounded at this Nashville provider's a) massive stones allowing her to show up at sessions looking 15-20 years older and b) delusion in thinking this was the marketing plan to beat all marketing plans.

I left the chat soon after and blocked E.L. after witnessing her doxx her face-in "friend" for no reason other than to feel better about herself by dunking on this beautiful woman's looks. A woman who was, dare I say, prettier than her doxxer.

A tale as old as time.

Poor Steve.

The Victimized Client

Steve felt as if he was truly wronged and though I have compassion for his hellish plight, the myth of the victimized, upper class, white male client isn't one I'm advocating. My view point is: You got played, Steve, and that sucks but did it really wound you that badly to sleep with a less attractive woman? Do you still have hundreds of thousands in the bank and a summer home up north?

Suckle at my teat and chill, Steve. We have sativa cannabis milk on tap, it's called MILF Cream, and you'll soon be soothed into going night night like a good boy.

This Nashville provider, as all deceitful people do, had karma hit her in her Facetuned noggin not too long ago but we'll get to that satisfying ending at, you know, the end of this story.

First, I'm here to guide you, like a smoldering Yoda, so you never have the plaid boxer briefs clutching terror of screwing a provider who is far less attractive than her photos portray. As a high ranking member of anti-catfish advocacy group, CLIT! (Catfish Lose, It's Time!), it's my pleasure and duty to explain the intricacies of this devious crime against our most beleaguered members of society.

Let's go over a few tips for the Steve's of the world so they can avoid the dreaded catfish lurking in the murky social media waters:

(Additionally, I, like most SW's, slightly edit many of my photos because of industry pressures to look like a non-human angel. Almost all providers edit their photos in some way that goes beyond color correction. The videos I post on Bluesky are completely unedited and beauty filter-free because I don't want to scare clients off by not looking like myself.)

Book Providers Who Don't Use Filters in Videos

Many providers make one key mistake: They don't post videos of themselves and if they do, they're filtering themselves and it's always painfully obvious to anyone who's... used a filter. Clients think that photos are easier to edit so they want to see videos, ya'll. Stop sleeping on making quick little vids, doesn't have to be fancy. It also helps clients feel like they know you, having seen you in the digital flesh.

I know I'd get far less bookings if I didn't bust out my camera occasionally and snap a video when I'm all done up for a date or weightlifting, the only times I put makeup on.

There I go again, giving unsolicited advice that should be it's own blog post.

A quick Google, YouTube or TikTok search will teach you how to detect face filters in both photos and videos.

Here's a great video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yekEO4RM7PE by beauty YouTuber Robert Welsh.

Certain Samsung phones come with filters pre-installed within the camera or filters can be added using different programs like Facetune. Then there are more expensive, professional level beauty filters that are harder to detect but always involve blurring. An easy tell is if the person is wearing glasses or something on their face, the edges of the object will be a bit fuzzy/wavy because the filter doesn't know how to blur a pair of glasses. The area around the eyes will look dark and creepy.

Filters glitch, but it's easy to edit that out in a short SW IG video so not something I'd worry about for our purposes.

Facial contouring using filters will make edges of the face, features and background blurry. Meaning in order to make a jaw slimmer, eyes/lips bigger and noses smaller, a bit of uncanny valley blurring will occur. Screen record and zoom in if you have bad eyes. Facial features and backgrounds will bend.

This is not normal.

Blurring will also occur in the background of the video, as this article illustrates: https://blog.wer8.stream/photography-and-filters-how-to-spot-a-filter-in-the-modern-age

Once you watch Robert Welsh's YouTube video and are a bit more familiar with filters, now you can tell if someone is using them. Simply sticking with providers who film parts of their face (not applicable to face-in providers but this should be obvious) minus a filter will save the Steve's of the world from utter catfishing wretchedness.

Book Providers Who Don't Over-Edit Photos

Take my tips for detecting facial filters in video and apply it to photos. See how easy this is? If they don't show their face... Obviously this blog doesn't apply to the chosen few who don't have to show any of their face in order to attract clients.

Book Providers with Good Reviews

Although controversial, reviews make me money so I'll keep using them. A catfish is less likely to have good reviews.

A lot of providers without reviews are great but if I were a client, heck no, I'm not risking it. Now, it's ridiculously easy to fake reviews so you have to possess an ear for language to detect whether they're mostly real.

Tryst: That 3 homebase "Premium Plus" tier was a greedy money move slowly destroying their site. Blog for another day, as usual.

Use Tryst to Find Providers

Tryst has a great reputation as a site that verifies provider photos.

I just reverified my photos with Tryst, meaning I took multiple unedited photos of myself holding my driver's license up to the camera. These photos were compared with the photos I have on their site and my profile was reapproved. Tryst is the only provider website who usually does a good job of weeding out the catfish but obviously, AI bots and people with fake photos can get through.

Which is why you should...

Steve is so grateful for my utterly selfless, tireless anti-catfish advocacy work that he took me on a 3 day FMTY to an exotic locale where I sat under an umbrella on the yacht, sipping white wine while watching him snorkle or whatever. JK I'd totally go scuborkling.

Steve's Redemption

Steve ends up a redeemed protagonist by the end of this story: The Nashville provider I previously discussed was banned from Tryst a year or two ago and in the US, Tryst is the only game in town. If you don't look like your images on social media, clients are going to report your ads and you'll have to reverify your Tryst photos and gosh darn it, if you're editing yourself into a cartoon, you'll be banned. Which benefits all of us.

Steve, we did it buddy. The villain has been vanquished and now you get to feast upon endless human hair merkins.

I wear this pubic merkin during bookings because... I've been living a lie. I'm actually a natural blackhead.

Clients who see an extreme catfish may never see another provider. The poor lads, I don't know how they'll survive but it does hurt all providers when catfish catfish. Well, not really, I'm impervious to bullshittery being a devotee of the Dark Mothers and understanding that my thoughts create my reality.

As above, so below.

As within, so without.

A fire burning my bush... and my soul. Imparting adventure, attraction healing and/or obsession for all I choose to enrapture.

All of my clients are named Steve. This blog isn't about that Steve, Steve.

Who's your Siren?

Did you know that only 4% of the people who consume my arduous anti-catfishery blogging labor actually take the time to hit that little heart on Bluesky and like my blog posts? Am I so utterly repulsive to you? Do you shudder in terror at the monstrosity you birthed, Creator? Penny Dreadful rewatch has gotten to me, I apologize.

For the love of the Divine Feminine, support your local and international SW's and like my post if you found even one thing I had to say funny or useful. And if you really want to make me love you, repost me!

This is our modern world in a nutshell and though I don't think the point of life is about controlling other humans, playing the villain is a lot of fun. Actually being one leads to misery and ruin.

Please consider making me splendiferously aroused by the joy of being admired and pampered and check out my Wishlist if you appreciate the menstrual blood, sweat and tears I'm shedding over the Plight of the Steve's and the Catfish Agenda.

Musical Accompaniment to Today's Post Because My Admirers Love It: (headphones required or loud speakers for the full effect)

I See a Darkness by Bonnie Prince Billy AKA Steve's Song

U.R.A. Fever by The Kills

The Chain by Chinchilla

Loving Cup by The Rolling Stones AKA Rose's Song. My favorite song of all time. Probably.

Ok, I'll stop being a nerd who's loving these Pinterest quotes. Last one: